And, it's official...

I do in fact have yet another ailment that won’t go away until the baby is born. The doc said that PUPPP usually goes away within a few weeks of delivering so there’s that to look forward to. He prescribed me a stronger topical steroid cream for me to use for the next three weeks and then he’ll check back and see how it’s going and if it’s not getting any better at that point, I’ll have to take an oral steroid. I’m really hoping to avoid that.

I read online that there’s a soap called Grandpa’s Pine Tar Soap that women with PUPPP swear by. It’s only found in health food stores and online so I’m hoping that I can find it. I’ve been told that the smell is horrible, but the effects are incredible soothing and calming. I guess it’s kinda like the Neutrogena T-gel shampoo – effective but not pleasant.

So if I didn’t feel like I was ready to be done with this pregnancy already, I certainly do now. Let’s hope that the next 80 days fly by!

 

PUPPP

So I thought that I had enough to deal with in this pregnancy, but apparently the powers that be thought that it would be funny to give me something else. (I’m a little on edge at the moment, can ya tell?) Anywho, I have this INTENSELY itchy rash covering my stomach, mostly in the stretch marks but spreading outward. It’s seriously horrible and sometimes I feel like I can’t function because it itches so badly. At first I thought that it was the intertrigo rash coming back from a month or two ago so I started using the creams that the dermatologist gave me before. Then it just started getting worse and worse.

I called the dermatologist’s office first thing Monday morning, hoping that I could get an appointment right away but apparently he’s out of the office until Thursday. THURSDAY! I have to wait through this horrible itching for three more days before I might get something to make it feel better in a few days.

So today I sit at work and all I can think about is the itching so I decided to hit my favorite medical diagnostic tool, Google. I learned that there is a common skin condition during pregnancy called PUPPP or Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy. Basically, these red bumps form in the stretch marks on the belly and then they get bigger and spread out and get more intense and itchy. It generally affects women in the third trimester and resolves itself a few weeks after delivery. Treatment options include steroid creams that can be applied up to 6 times a day (yeah, like I have time for that at work…) or oral steroids (yikes, that doesn’t sound good for the baby).

Last night I tried a home remedy for the itching because it was bad enough that I just wanted to cry. I got a cold water bottle out of the fridge and held it on different spots on my stomach. The cold helped bring the inflammation down and stop me from feeling like I needed to scratch it incessantly. The funniest part about this whole thing was that Zoey went crazy over it! She really did not like the cold!! It felt like she was climbing around in a big circle trying to get away from the cold of the water bottle. It was cute and funny but slightly uncomfortable at the same time. As soon as my tummy warmed up again she stopped and I finally went to sleep.

So now I will wait until Thursday to find out what the doctor thinks and see if I can get some relief or if this is another thing that I’m doomed to deal with for the next three months. Stay tuned…

Dun Dun Dun...

Well, it’s official. I got the call from my doctor’s office this morning confirming my suspicions. I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. Blah.

The 3 hour glucose test was horrible! It made me feel sick and dizzy and overall not a happy camper. I think that making a woman who’s seven months pregnant go 15 hours without food then drink super sugary crap and get poked over and over again for 3 hours should be considered cruel and unusual punishment! By the end I was super starving but luckily I had planned ahead and had a banana and some chips in the car. Then I drove a block down the street to Carl’s Jr for some chicken strips. I was in serious need of protein at that point.

The next day I logged online and found my results: 87 mg/dL fasting glucose, 232 mg/dL 1 hr after 100 g glucose, 166 mg/dL 2 hr after and 95 mg/dL 3 hr after. The first and last readings are within normal ranges, but the middle two are pretty high.

So now it looks like I will have to meet with a diabetes specialist who will teach me how to monitor my blood sugar and what diet and exercise plan I should follow. I am really not looking forward to it but I suppose sine it’s 2 weeks away I don’t have to worry too much about changing my diet over the holidays, right? Well, I guess I can try to snack a little better but I’m surely not missing out on my holiday favorites, that’s for sure!

Gestational Diabetes

Just writing the title sounds ominous. Now, I haven’t been diagnosed with GD yet… but I might. Yesterday I had to take my glucose challenge test to see how my body handles an influx of sugar. Basically, I go to the lab, drink an insanely sugary orange drink with 50 g of glucose in it, then wait around for an hour until my blood is drawn to look at my sugar levels. Normal (or screening out) is a level under 130-140. What was mine you ask? 164! Yup, that’s a pretty high blood sugar level. I totally failed the test.

Here’s a quick rundown of GD. Basically, the hormones of pregnancy, mainly progesterone and cortisol but there are a few others like HPL that play a role, cause the mother to need to increase insulin production because the body is basically trying to keep the sugar in the bloodstream so that it can be passed to the baby. Well, in mom’s with GD, the pancreas doesn’t increase the insulin level enough and all that sugar stays in the bloodstream and goes into the baby where the baby then has to create more insulin to process it. That can make the baby a lot bigger (can we say 9 lb baby?) and it can also cause the baby to go into hypoglycemic shock after it’s born when that constant sugar supply through the umbilical cord is cut. It also puts both mom and baby at risk of having diabetes in the future. Basically, this is just not a good situation all around.

So what do I do now? Well I have to take another glucose tolerance test, but this time it’s worse. I have to fast for 14 hours and then come in and get my blood drawn for a fasting blood sugar level. Then I have to drink the ultra sugary crap only this time it’s 100 g instead of just 50 g. Blech! Then I will get my blood drawn once per hour to see how well my body is producing insulin to get that sugar out of my blood stream. If the results from two of the four draws is considered above the required range, then I’ll be diagnosed with GD. That will mean changing my diet and making sure that I eat at specific times during the day, upping my exercise to at least twice a week and checking my blood sugar several times a day. And that’s if I don’t end up needing insulin. I don’t even want to think about having to stab myself with a needle a few times a day… Let’s just hope that the next test yields positive results and I get to be done with this before it starts!

100 Days to Go!

Well, the countdown has officially begun. No, not the countdown to Christmas… I am excited to celebrate it this year, but it’s not what I’m counting down to now. There are only 100 days left until I reach my due date! Can you believe it? I’ve gone through 180 days of pregnancy so far and am only two weeks away from starting my third trimester. It seems like it’s been forever and at the same time it also feels like the time has gone by pretty quickly. I don’t quite understand how I can feel both at the same time but I guess pregnancy=ambivalence. I have been checking off the days on the calendar at my desk. When the new year starts and I go back to work, I’ll only have 76 days left. On Valentine’s Day, I’ll be down to 34 days. And by St. Patty’s Day, the countdown will be down to 3! Thinking about it in these terms makes me realize that there really is very little time left and lots to do. At least now I have all the furniture that I need except a glider (Thank you mommy!). Now to finish cleaning up and arrange the room and we should be ready to fill it with everything we will need.

It's Been 1 Year

I just realized that it’s been exactly one year since we lost our first little bundle-to-be. It’s a bit of a sobering thought to have. If things had worked out differently, I would have a four month old baby right now instead of having four months left in my pregnancy. I would likely just be coming back to work after my maternity leave and settling into a new routine. It’s a little strange to think about what could have been, but I can’t see any of it clearly in my head – not like I see things happening this time around. I know that things have been great so far with this pregnancy. I have nothing to worry about, so they say, and yet I still worry constantly. Anytime I don’t feel her move for a few hours or whenever I wake up lying on my back I get a little paranoid that there’s something wrong. Maybe it’s because things didn’t work out the first time around or maybe it’s just because I’m a mom now, and that’s what mom’s do – they worry about their babies. Either way I don’t think that feeling is going away any time soon so I guess I’m just stuck with the worry until she comes out. Then there’s a whole new set of things to worry about…

New Pump

I have been reading about breast pumps lately. I know that it's something that I definitely need because I intend to solely breastfeed for at least 6 months and I will have to go back to work after 3 1/2 so that only gives me one option. Pumps can be really cheap or massively expensive and I wasn't sure if I would really need a fancy high tech one or just something simple. After reading lots of reviews and hearing from several people I know, I decided that a good pump is definitely a good investment and can make all the difference in how long I can exclusively breast feed.

I decided on the Madela Pump in Style and it was just sitting on my registry for a while, knowing that it's not likely that someone else would buy it for me but I still wanted to save my choice. Well, today I got an email with a coupon for 20% off one regular priced item at Babies R Us and realized that I had gift cards totaling $35 so I headed over there and ended up getting the regularly priced $280 pump for under $200! Plus I get rewards points for it so I'll get $20 back too. I'm excited to check it out and very happy I got such a good deal on it!

Paranoia

I'm sure that most of you know that I'm a worrier. I come from a long line of worriers and I think that the gene amplifies when you become a mommy. Well, the worry gene was acting up this weekend. On Friday I spent the day teaching a CPR/AED and First Aid class to a few colleagues. I didn't feel Zoey moving around a whole lot but figured it was just because I was moving around a lot and not really paying attention as much. Well, Friday night I paid more attention and didn't feel her moving around much more at all... maybe one small flutter and that was it. Needless to say, I worried.

The next day I figured I would feel more movement. I drank some juice and ate some sugary foods expecting to wake her up but nothing worked. I would occasionally feel a little flutter or two but it was like in the early stages where I wasn't sure if it was actually her or just gas. I wrote it off as her moving into a different position and I just wasn't feeling them the same. I drank some root beer beer because that has ALWAYS made her active in the past but I still only had some slight flutters. I figured if it persisted I'd call my OB on Monday.

Today started out the same, no movement when I woke up, nothing after breakfast, not much during the day. Then this afternoon as I laid on the couch with the kitties, she decided to make up for lost time. She has been kicking me like crazy! I guess she just needed a break for a few days to change positions or whatever she was doing but is now right back to kicking the crap outta my bladder. Way to go honey, thanks for making mommy worry for nothing. I guess I'd better get used to this...

Borderline Blood Pressure

So I had my monthly checkup with the OB today and after checking my blood pressure twice, they came to the determination that I was borderline hypertensive. My BP was around 138/68 each time they checked it. Obviously my diastolic numbers are great, but it’s the systolic number they’re really worried about. The main worry here is that hypertension is the first sign of preeclampsia, a very dangerous condition that occurs only during pregnancy and can cause stroke and even death of both mother and baby. One step at a time though… right now I just have to monitor my blood pressure on my own. If it ever gets above 140/90 then I have to call my doc and report it to her, but if it hovers around where it is now or lowers on its own then I’m just fine and we get to keep monitoring it.

Belly Pics

Okay, so as promised here's what my tummy looks like now. I don't think it's quite as clear to see how big it's gotten from this angle, but when I'm taking the picture by myself and I don't have a full length mirror this is what you get. lol The top pic is 8 weeks and the bottom is 22. I can only imagine what it'll be like at 40!

Filling In the Story - Conception

So I also realized that I didn’t talk much on this blog about the month that I finally conceived. I know that I’ll forget all the details over time so I thought that I would preserve them by posting the whole story now. I know it’s a bit out of order, but better late than never, right?

My mom was taking me to Hawaii for my birthday and it just so happened that it would be around the time I was going to ovulate. I just said oh well, Hawaii’s more fun and didn’t do much charting for the month. No BBT or CP or CM, just noted anything that was really obvious when I had a chance. I did still use OPKs because I had a ton f them and was a bit of a POAS addict. I used one the day before I left and it was an almost positive so I figured I’d get in one BD session before leaving. The next day I took another at the airport just to confirm and it was positive so I just figured the day before was good enough and enjoyed my trip. I decided to use the “drink ‘til it’s pink” mantra for the month because honestly, when am I going to be able to sip mai tais in Hawaii again? When I got back, Jon threw me a birthday party BBQ at home too. We made lots of jell-o shots and had a grand ol’ time.

That day I was having some very strange and strong symptoms. It felt like I was ovulating – the O pain, lots of CM, strong desire, etc. I ignored it for a day but decided what the hell, I’ll pee on another stick and see what comes up. Lo and behold, the OPK shows up positive. I took an HPT just to make sure that I was prego already and that was negative so I figured that the traveling delayed ovulation. Of course with the party and being gone for several days we had gotten to the BDing already but we did again after the positive test just for good measure.

10 days later I started up my POAS obsession and that morning it was negative. When I got home later that day I decided to look at it again (being the addict that I am) and there was a faint line on it. Now, this was an internet cheapie and I wasn’t sure if the line had color in it or if it was just an evap line. I resolved to use a FRER in the morning. The next day I did and the line was so faint I could swear that I was seeing things. I was going to a party at my BFF’s house that night so I didn’t tell anyone and just took the test with me to show her. We analyzed it under the light and decided that there was definitely a line there. I figured that I would take another FRER Sunday morning and if there was still a light line I’d use my digi.

Well, the FRER had a slightly darker but still barely there line so I used the digi and almost immediately up popped the word “Pregnant.” I decided to be cute about telling Jon so I set an appointment in Outlook that said Estimated Due Date and emailed it to his phone. I swear it took him hours to finally look at his phone but he finally did and was beyond excited after he double checked with me to make sure it was real. I had to show him the test! Haha

So anywho, that’s the whole long story.

The Pregnancy Stupids

I am sad to say that I have contracted a bad case of Baby Brain, also known as the Pregnancy Stupids. It’s a pretty bad case too. I’m usually a smart, eloquent, elaborative speaker. I enjoy using my vocabulary and feel like communication is kinda my thing. Well my friends, apparently the baby needs those brain cells at the moment because my argot is shrinking rapidly. It seems to be temporary at the moment, but I guess we’ll see.

Example 1 (Mild): Today while I was talking to Jon about the elections, I couldn’t for the life of me remember the word concede. I could describe to him what I was talking about but I had no idea what word I was trying to say! The really bad part is, I was just having a similar conversation with someone else just an hour before and used the word just fine.

Example 2 (Severe): On Friday I was sitting at work in the room with all of my study directors talking about some project we were working on. The person trying to find the file on the computer wasn’t finding it so I thought I’d ask her to pass me the mouse and I could see if I could find it. Well, I asked her to pass me the knife. Seriously, the knife. I know, the words are not even close! They have nothing to do with one another. I wasn’t even thinking about a knife or about cutting anything. I don’t know where the work came from. I didn’t even realize I was using the wrong word until the person holding the mouse looked at me like I was crazy. We all of course had a good laugh over it, but I still can’t figure out what went wrong other than the fact that my disease is progressing.

Let’s hope delivery is the cure to this disease and it’s truly only temporary or Zoey’s in trouble and she’d better have some good teachers in school!

Exponential Growth

No, this isn’t a math lesson. I’m talking about my belly; I swear every day I look down and it’s bigger! I thought that I was going crazy for a while there because it was over the weekend and I was accentuating my tummy for my Halloween costume (Jon and I went as Juno and Paulie Bleaker! J) and I figured that it was just the striped tee making it look bigger. Then I noticed that it was harder to sleep and I was walking a little slower than normal and tired more than usual. Then as I was getting ready for work on Monday I noticed that the belly panel on my favorite maternity pants didn’t come up as high as it did before. That was it, I knew I had grown. I don’t measure my belly because that would just be depressing. I really didn’t want to know how big it was before I got pregnant so I sure as heck don’t wanna know how big it is now.

So fast forward to Monday at work. I have several colleagues who are also pregnant that I talk to everyday. It’s like this awesome instant support group, I love it! Anyways, I was standing next to one of the other pregnant girls, waiting for her to get off the phone. She looked over and I waved hello to her. She waved back, pointed at my belly and then made the universal pregnant belly sign over her own tummy. That was it, I knew I wasn’t crazy. I really did get bigger! We both laughed about it. I wanted it to stop growing so fast because it itches like crazy for one and I’m worried that if it’s this big now, how big will it be in another 4 months!?! She was jealous because she wants hers to grow. She’s only a few weeks behind me and could probably still hide that she’s pregnant from just about everyone! So jealous!

Anywho, I haven’t brought myself to take a new belly picture yet because I just can’t quite believe it so those will come soon.. maybe.

Braxton-Hicks Contractions

Yesterday my body decided to celebrate the fact that I am halfway to birth by letting me experience Braxton-Hicks contractions. Now, the definition of Braxton-Hicks contractions makes it seem like they are light, easy things to handle.

Braxton-Hicks contractions are usually painless contractions of the uterus, also known as false labor or practice contractions and are sporadic uterine contractions that usually start around 6 weeks however are not usually felt until the second trimester or third trimester of pregnancy.

From that definition you would think it was this light tightening of the uterus muscles that went away quickly. Not so! I was sitting on the couch watching Jon play video games and reading my Bradley book when things just started getting tight. It was almost like when you have bad gas and everything down there just tightens up only it’s not your intestines doing the tightening this time, it’s the uterus. Then it was painful. I guess it would be most akin to a severe menstrual cramp only bigger and stronger and longer. I thought maybe Zoey was just moving around and stretching or something but it just started getting worse and worse.

I couldn’t figure out what it was at first. Since I had just been reading in my book about relaxation being key to managing pain in labor I thought, well, let’s give it a try. I laid down on the couch and tried to relax all of my body. That seemed to be worse. The pain in my belly was getting worse. Then I thought that if staying still was worse, maybe walking around would be better. Bingo! I got up and started walking laps around the house, checking on dinner, picking up the things I’d left on the coffee table and suddenly it all went away.

I was relieved but confused. I still didn’t quite know what that was. As I was sitting there trying to think through what just happened, it started all over again. I immediately got up and started walking around again and this time it only took about a minute or so to go away. I stayed standing and walking for another minute just to make sure it wasn’t coming back again and was quite relieved when it didn’t.

Needless to say, I’m a bit worried now that actual contractions are going to kill me if I found a Braxton-Hicks contraction hard to handle. Maybe it was just the surprise of it all or that I hadn’t felt anything like it before. At least I was able to remember what I had learned so far in my classes when the pain hit. That’s a little encouraging. I guess it’s my body’s way of telling me that I’ve got a lot more preparing to do before I get to Zoey’s birthday and all the mental preparation in the world can’t replace the physical preparation. Point taken body, I’m not slacking anymore!

The Anatomy Ultrasound

Yesterday was a long day of appointments. I had my regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment and then right after that was my anatomy ultrasound next door at the Maternal-Fetal Medicine Dept. The dr’s apt went pretty well. I told her that I was planning to have a natural childbirth and asked what her thoughts were and what her policies were. She said that she thinks it’s great and strongly recommended I take classes to get through it (already on top of that). She said that she doesn’t know what her practice’s c-section rate is but knows that it is well under the national average (which is good because it’s over 30% nationally now!). She said that they don’t do routine episiotomies and are not quick to the knife at all. The one thing that she said that I didn’t really like is that they do require an IV. She said that it could be a hep-locked IV (meaning that it’s just a line placed in my arm or hand and not connected to anything) but I really don’t think that is very conducive to staying relaxed and focused on my birth to have a needle sticking in my arm… I’m not sure if it’s something that I’m going to really try to fight or if I will just agree to it. The jury’s still out but I still have some time to think about it.

 

After the dr’s apt it was time for the anatomy scan. It was a lot of fun to see her on the screen wriggling around but she was just as uncooperative as she could be. She was nestled right down into my pelvis, head down, facing my spine. She is actually in the absolutely most perfect position for giving birth, but we’re only half way there… They had to poke and prod a LOT to get the pictures that they needed. They actually had to bring in two different doctors to get the last image they needed of her brain. They dug the ultrasound wand so hard into my lower abdomen I thought I was going to bruise! I guess they really didn’t want to have to have me come back in a few weeks to get that one shot. Anyways, we got some cute pictures of her hands and feet and had fun watching her wiggle all over the place (I guess she really liked the rootbeer I drank!). They said that she looks great (anatomically speaking) and we have nothing to worry about so far. J

She Kicked!

I’ve been noticing little movements here and there from time to time. They are usually really small and if I’m not actively paying attention I don’t usually notice them. Last night Jon was laying his head on my stomach as he does quite often. He said that Zoey was talking to him (meaning that he heard swishing noises) and then he suddenly lifted his head up. I looked at him and he said in a shocked voice, “She kicked me!” I laughed at him pretty heartily until he laid his head back down on my stomach. He didn’t feel any more kicks but I’m betting that he will be feeling them much more frequently now.

Bradley Classes

I have decided that I want to try to have a natural childbirth. That means no epidural, no IV, no forceps, no vacuum suction, nothing. I want to wait until my baby decides that she is ready to come out into the world on her own time and don’t want to be induced. I don’t want my bag of waters broken or my membranes stripped. I want things to happen naturally. There are fewer complications both before, during and after birth and many other awesome rewards.

 

For all these reasons I have decided to take Bradley Method classes. They teach methods of how to become an educated consumer of medical care and get the things that you want out of your birth. They teach you all about the process of birth and the stages that you will go through. They teach methods of coping with the pain that you feel and how to best prepare your body for going through the whole process. There’s a lot of other stuff that they cover as well, but there’s just too much to list.

 

I LOVE my class so far. The instructor is awesome and has done this whole process 4 times herself. She has been teaching for something like 16 years and really knows her stuff. I feel so much more empowered with each class that I go to.

 

Natural childbirth isn’t for everyone. In Utah there’s something like a 95-98% epidural usage rate! I certainly meet lots of opposition when I tell people that I want a natural childbirth, but I’m determined to make it happen. Now to find out if my OB is in the same court or if I’ll need to switch to a midwife… more on that next week after my appointment.

It's a GIRL!

I know that we are only two weeks away from our official anatomy ultrasound but I was so impatient that I talked Jon into going to an ultrasound imaging place downtown to find out early. At the beginning of the scan, she had her legs straight up and spread apart as if to say, “There ya go; that’s what you were looking for, right?” Then she put them back together and didn’t open them up again for the rest of the ultrasound. I guess she wanted to be ladylike.

They also took some 3D pictures which was pretty cool. Jon said that they were scary. You can’t see a lot of detail in the 3D images because the baby is so small. She’s only about 4 ½ inches long right now. We also got to see her moving around in 4D which I thought was neat. She always had her hands up by her head so it was hard to get a really good picture but I like the one I posted above the best. We also got a DVD of the whole thing which was pretty sweet.

On a side note, I think that I felt her moving around for the first time. I have felt little flutters a few times before, but on our way to the ultrasound on Saturday I felt what I can only describe as waves in my abdomen. I think she was moving around a lot because of the fruit smoothie and the fruit juice that I had just before that. I’m really hoping that I’ll start feeling her a lot more! I can’t wait to feel a kick. J

Prenatal Water Aerobics

I started a new class on Tuesday – Prenatal Water Aerobics! I wasn’t sure what to expect going into it, but it was so much fun! It was quite the workout too. I was thinking it would be a bit of swim around and move your feet a bit in the pool, but this was hard work. Running in the pool is not easy and then you add in resistance thingies and man was my heart pumping. I enjoyed it so much that I’m going back again tonight. It’s amazingly cheap too, only $25 for 8 classes. It’s held at TOSH M-Th which is only about 20 minutes from work so I think that I might start going twice a week. I know that the workout will be good for me and the baby come March and this is waaaaay better than any treadmill or stationary bike so I’m pretty happy about it. J

Another Dr. Apt

Today was my 15 week apt and all seems to be going well. This was probably the quickest doctor appointment that I've gone to in quite a while. I don't know if the doctor was just in a hurry or if there's just not much to do at this apt but I was with the doctor for all of 5 minutes.

They took a urine sample and my weight and blood pressure. I have gained 4 lbs since my last visit so I think a pound a week isn't too bad for this time, although if I keep that rate I'll gain another 25 lbs in the pregnancy and I'm hoping to avoid gaining too much. The doctor also measured my uterus and listened to the heartbeat with the doppler. It was in the 150's which is right where I expected it to be.

I was able to ask the doctor about the pains I've been having in my lower right side and she said that it's likely just round ligament pain which is what I thought as well. She suggested a neti pot or antihistimine for the congestion and that was it, she was out the door.

I had wanted to ask her about a flu shot because it's getting to be about that time but I totally forgot in all the rush. I was also thinking about asking her all my delivery questions but figured that could wait until I didn't feel like I was being rushed out of there. I don't know what the deal is, but I really hope I don't have another apt like this one or I may be looking at other doctors.

On the plus side, I did schedule my ultrasound with the Maternal Fetal Medicine department where they will do the anatomy scan and tell me the sex of the baby!! I am very excited about this! I know that my family was hoping to find out today, but alas, no ultrasound at the office. I think that they are all more anxious to know that I am! Well, we'll all just have to wait one more month.

I Found the Heart Beat!

I finally found the heart beat using my doppler!! I think that my baby likes to sit really low on my pelvis and that’s why I have been having such a hard time trying to find the heart beat on my own. Well, last night I was unusually thirsty and drank about three bottles of water before feeling like I really had to pee. Then I remembered the feeling of the ultrasound wand being bounced up and down on my uterus (and therefore bladder) during my last ultrasound and thought to myself, maybe a full bladder is what I need to hear the little heart beat. So I grabbed the doppler and listened for a minute to no avail.

Jon decided that he was going to give it a shot so he rubbed some cream on my tummy and moved the wand around all over the place and finally gave up. I decided that I was going to give it one more try. I turned the volume up as loud as it could go and put it right in the center of my abdomen as low as I could go. Rather than move it around I just tried pointing it in different directions. It finally worked! I heard it faintly at first and wasn’t sure of what I was hearing, but I pushed a little harder and there it was, clear as day. I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t mine so I counted and timed the beats and it was beating at 150 bpm which is definitely too high to be mine.

I was so happy that I could finally hear it! I don’t know that I’ll be able to find it again all the time, but at least I know the trick to it now!

My Latest Dr Appointment

So at my last appointment (Monday), I went to the maternal/fetal medicine office for my integrated screening. I first had an ultrasound to measure the fluid filled space at the back of the baby’s neck called the nuchal translucency. It tells me if the baby has an increased risk of Downs Syndrome. The measurement was just fine and all looks good.

 

During the ultrasound, the technician banged the wand up and down on my abdomen a few times (I know… not the funnest thing when I had to drink 32 oz of water before the procedure!) but it really got the baby moving! It was jumping around all over the place! I saw the arms and hands curled up by the face and the legs and feet up in the air (fluid). You can even see the baby’s profile in the ultrasound picture!

 

There is one thing that I noticed from the ultrasound that was a little concerning. The placenta, which is usually up to the side of the baby, was down underneath. You can see the black crescent shaped thing under the baby in the picture above. The reason that’s bad is because if the placenta is blocking the cervix when it comes time to deliver the baby, it can cause life threatening bleeding for both me and the baby. It is called placenta previa and usually requires bed rest late in the pregnancy if not a hospital stay and a planned c-section at 37 weeks! Yikes! The good news is that 80-90% of the time when the placenta is low in the first trimester, it moves up higher in the second and third. So I’m not going to stress out about it too much yet, but it is definitely something that I’m going to watch closely in the future.

 

After the ultrasound I went for a blood draw. It is usually uneventful, but this time I got lucky and got a student… He missed in both arms and, after fishing around in my arm with the needle, called for help. The girls who came to help couldn’t use the same veins that the student was trying for so she decided to try a small surface vein in my right arm. Well, she got it in just fine and was about half way to filling the tube when the vein decided to bleed out onto my arm instead of through the needle and into the tube. That of course meant she had to scrap that tube and try a new vein. Ugh. So to my chagrin she decided that my hand was the best place. The tubes were filled uneventfully but it still hurts a little and I have a nice bruise for it. I just have to tell myself it’s for the baby.

 

They will do another blood draw in the second trimester and use the combined results to tell me if I’m at risk for Downs, Trisomy or Neural Tube defects. I’ll also find out if I’m a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis. I know, it sounds terribly exciting, but I’ll get any test that is non-invasive and could possibly help my baby be healthier when it’s born!

 

Next regular appointment, Monday the 20^th!

First "Official" Dr Visit

I just had my first "official" dr's apt this morning. And by official, I mean that I actually got to go in and meet with my dr and my nurse and not an ultrasonographer or a phlebotomist. It went really well.

First the medical assistant took my blood pressure (120/80) and weight (200... ouch!) and quickly verified my medical history before taking me to the exam room.

Then Vicki, one of my dr's nurses came in and went over a whole bunch of stuff, mostly things I already knew but a few I didn't, and took a more detailed account of my entire medical history from birth. She left a few notes for the dr to go over with me and then gave me a gown and told me to disrobe.

Shortly thereafter, Dr. Hebert came in and chatted a bit about the notes that my nurse had made, discussed medications that I could take to help with my symptoms and wrote me prescriptions for Zofran (for nausea - nondrowsy version), Promethazine (for nausea - drowsy version to help me sleep!), and Pepcid (to stop the heartburn from getting continually worse throughout pregnancy). After that, it was on to a physical examination. It was quick but the normal check of lungs, heart, breasts and abdomen.

Then we got to the fun part - the ultrasound! I was so excited to get one today because I wasn't sure that I would. She stuck the wand on my abdomen and the picture instantly popped up. She told Jon he wasn't allowed to peek (presumably because she wanted to find a heartbeat before showing us) but after just a second she told Jon to stand behind me and moved the monitor in my direction. There was the baby, clear as can be, hanging out at the bottom of the gestational sac. I could see the head and the body and the little arms. The legs weren't as easily distinguishable but I'm sure they were there too. The baby's arm actually lifted up a few times during the ultrasound as if it was waving at us! It was so cute. The best part though was hearing the heartbeat. This was the first time I was actually able to hear it as the last ultrasound was internal and the heartbeat was measured without sound. Our litle bean had a heartbeat of 171 beats per minute! "Normal" range is between 130 and 160 but higher didn't seem to be a problem for my dr. She declared us both healthy, printed some pictures and was done.

I of course couldn't get away yet... not without the lovely pelvic exam. But it was quick and easy and I was out the door. Not to go home though... there was still lab work to do. But at least the lab is right next door to the dr's office! I was lucky enough to get someone who got a nice big vein in one stick this time. She drew out 5 vials of blood (or all the blood in my arm it felt) to do a CBC, Thyroid test, Hep B test and whatever else they do as a matter of routine these days. I also had to give a urine sample before I could get out the door.

Wow, typing that out, it was a jammed packed appointment! My next one is with the Genetic Counselor on Monday to do the integrated screening to check for genetic disorders and then three weeks after that I'll go back to my OB. I swear my calendar is going to be filled with dr's appointments as time goes on.

My New Doppler

Wow, it’s been a while since I posted an update. I guess there’s not really a whole lot to blog about in between my dr visits since I’m still pretty early. I kept hearing people on my pregnancy boards talking about fetal dopplers and I thought that they sounded really cool. Plus, you know me, I am super paranoid and would love the chance to hear my baby’s heart beating away inside of me to gain a little reassurance.

Well, it came in the mail yesterday (for the low, low price of $25!) and I was so excited to use it but of course I was starving and had to eat first. I am always starving lately but that’s another story. Anywho, after I was done eating I laid on the couch and started moving it around all over trying to figure the thing out. I tried all the tricks that the book tells you and tried moving it super slow so I didn’t miss it. Alas, the only thing I heard was the sound of my own heart beat. Oh well. The book of course says that it’s best to use it around 14-16 weeks and I am only 9 and a half weeks so likely it’s just too early to hear it with this thing but there were girls on my boards that were hearing theirs and they are the same week as me. Gerr… I know people are all different and I’m sure that I will be trying it out nightly until I finally hear that little heartbeat. I’m just hoping that I’ll get to hear it at my dr’s office on Monday when I go in for my appointment!

I have no idea what to expect at this appointment. I know that dr’s vary widely. I don’t know if they will do a pelvic exam and a pap, listen to the heartbeat with a doppler, perform an ultrasound, or just sit me down and ask me a bunch of health history questions. I guess it’s a tossup and we’ll find out when we get there.

In other news, I bought my first baby-related item for myself. I know… kinda early for that, but I was in Disneyland and I just couldn’t help it! I got a onesie that had Tigger on the front and says Gerr under the picture and on the back, it has Tigger’s tail coming out of the butt! J Way cute, huh! I also got a picture frame to put my ultrasound picture in. It’s blue and has a Mickey Mouse on the front and says, “My kid is cuter that Mickey Mouse.” I love it!

122 Beats per Minute!

So I went in for my second ultrasound today. It went wonderfully! There was a heartbeat and it was 122 BPM which is right where it should be right now.  The baby is measuring at about 6 weeks 5 days and by my estimates I’m 6 weeks 6 days so it looks like we’re right on track. Here’s the boring report too:

 

TRANSABDOMINAL/ENDOVAGINAL FIRST TRIMESTER OBSTETRICAL ULTRASOUND

CLINICAL HISTORY: 26-year-old pregnant woman (gravida 2, ectopic
1) with regular, 28 day cycles and confident menstrual dating
(last menstrual period: 1 June 2010, 8.9 weeks ago) whose study
is performed to re evaluate for embryo and cardiac activity.
Prior comparison IHC Urban Central Region imaging: 21 July 2010,
at 7.1 menstrual weeks. Reportedly the patient has 41 day cycles
and believes she ovulated "late" (by her own calculation of
ovulatory dating she expects 6.9 week size today. By prior
imaging expect 7.9 week size today.

PROCEDURE: High resolution real time curved array 4.0 megahertz
contact harmonic imaging of the pelvis is performed through a
distended bladder in longitudinal and axial planes. After
obtaining informed consent and in a standard fashion
supplementary endovaginal curved array 7.0 megahertz imaging was
also performed. Our study included permanent storage of recorded
images. We obtained the following pertinent measurements:

Crown Rump Length: 8 mm, 6.7 weeks
Average Chorionic Sac Diameter: 2.7 cm, 8.3 weeks

FINDINGS: Midline anteverted uterus measuring 10.1 cm
longitudinal x 3.9 cm anteroposterior x 5.2 cm transverse.
Myometrium is homogeneous and normal in sonographic appearance
and symmetrically surrounds a solitary fundal intrauterine
chorionic sac with sharply defined smooth margins. Within
chorionic sac I define a solitary normal appearing yolk sac and
today an adjacent live embryonic pole. Cardiac activity is today
apparent and is documented and shown to the patient during our
study (122 beats/minute). No chorioamniotic separation or extra
chorionic blood. The surrounding decidual reaction is homogeneous
and normal in sonographic appearance. Sonographic size 6.7 weeks
(range: 6.1-7.3 weeks), expected size 7.9 weeks, ovulatory dating
6.9 weeks; all reflecting good agreement and consistent with
appropriate interval growth. Charting is based on menstrual
dating in view of this good agreement. At this early point in
pregnancy I am unable to accurately predict placental
distribution, exclude previa or assess cervix. Amniotic fluid
volume within the chorionic sac is normal.

No free pelvic fluid. Normal posterior cul-de-sac. Adnexal
dimensions on the right are 3.6 x 3.1 x 2.0 cm; the left measures
2.9 x 3.0 x 1.4 cm. Ultrasound is not and cannot be tissue
specific but the sonographic appearance of each ovary is normal;
characterized by small peripheral sonolucencies, usually
follicular cysts. Color flow Doppler evaluation confirms blood
flow at each ovary; torsion or ischemia are less likely. The
right adnexal 16 mm apparent corpus luteum cyst of pregnancy now
measure less than 1 cm in average dimension.

IMPRESSION:

1. I document a solitary fundal intrauterine chorionic sac now
with a solitary well documented live embryo. Sonographic
morphology is normal for early gestation, by standard criteria.
My identification of intra uterine chorionic sac makes coexistent
ectopic gestation unlikely.
2. Sonographic size 6.7 weeks, expected size 7.9 weeks,
ovulatory dating 6.9 weeks; all reflecting good agreement and
consistent with appropriate interval growth since imaging in mid
to late July.
3. Expected date of delivery by ovulatory dating: 21 March 2010.

4. Please see above for additional details and discussion of
today's maternal embryonic evaluation.

Morning Sickness... It's Official

“They,” the experts and books and so on, say that morning sickness usually starts around the sixth week and can last through the first trimester. Well apparently this time around I am a textbook case. I hit 6 weeks yesterday and like clockwork, last night I felt so nauseous that I didn’t feel like I could do anything but lie in bed. When I woke up this  morning I thought that I was doing much better and wasn’t too worried about dealing with it at work until about an hour after I got up… same feeling again.

Of course I hate feeling sick, but I’m also overjoyed that I have these symptoms. And yes, I meant that plural… I am also so exhausted all the time I feel like falling asleep at my desk, I have bouts of dizziness and lightheadedness and I was feeling so hyper emotional last night that I cried at MTV of all things, lol. I love that I am having a textbook pregnancy this time and I really hope it continues that way. It feels really nice to be “normal” for once!

So baby, now that you’ve reassured mommy by making me feel sick, can we skip the rest of the morning sickness phase and go straight to the growing like crazy phase so I can feel you moving around?!

My First Ultrasound

So I finally got an ultrasound today. I was incredibly excited to learn that the pregnancy was in my uterus this time but am still a little worried that they still didn’t see a yolk sac or a heartbeat. I’m sure it’s just that I’m too early to see it but I can’t help but be anxious. The ultrasound tech was really positive and I left feeling really good about it, but then I read the dr’s report online and became a little more discouraged. Here’s the report:

 

CLINICAL HISTORY: 26-year-old pregnant woman (gravida 2, ectopic
1) with regular, 28 day cycles and confident menstrual dating
(last menstrual period: 1 June 2010, 7.1 weeks ago) whose study
is performed to confirm intrauterine gestation. No prior
comparison IHC Urban Central Region imaging during this
pregnancy. Maternal serum Beta-hCG value is reportedly about
4,147 mIU. The patient believes she ovulated "late", she expects
to be about five week size.

PROCEDURE: High resolution real time curved array 5.0 megahertz
contact harmonic imaging of the pelvis is performed through a
distended bladder in longitudinal and axial planes. After
obtaining informed consent and in a standard fashion
supplementary endovaginal curved array 8.0 megahertz imaging was
also performed. Our study included permanent storage of recorded
images. I discussed the findings with Dr. Hebert, attending
obstetrician. We obtained the following pertinent measurements:

Average Chorionic Sac Diameter: 1.4 cm, 6.1 weeks

FINDINGS: Midline anteverted uterus measuring 8.6 cm longitudinal
x 3.7 cm anteroposterior x 4.2 cm transverse. Myometrium is
homogeneous and normal in sonographic appearance and
symmetrically surrounds a solitary fundal extra endometrial
intrauterine chorionic sac with sharply defined smooth margins.
Within chorionic sac I define what appears to be a solitary
normal appearing yolk sac. I do not yet define embryonic pole or
cardiac activity during our bimodal study. No chorioamniotic
separation or extra chorionic blood. The surrounding decidual
reaction is homogeneous and normal in sonographic appearance.
Sonographic size 6.1 weeks, the patient expects about five week
size by ovulatory dating, menstrual dating 7.1 weeks. At this
early point in pregnancy I am unable to accurately predict
placental distribution, exclude previa or assess cervix. Amniotic
fluid volume within the chorionic sac is normal.

No free pelvic fluid. Normal posterior cul-de-sac. Adnexal
dimensions on the right are 4.0 x 2.7 x 2.2 cm; the left measures
2.1 x 2.9 x 1.5 cm. Ultrasound is not and cannot be tissue
specific but the sonographic appearance of each ovary is normal;
characterized by small peripheral sonolucencies, usually
follicular cysts (the largest is on the right and measures 16 x
13 x 20 mm, average: 1.6 cm, likely corpus luteum cyst of
pregnancy). Color flow Doppler evaluation confirms blood flow at
each ovary; torsion or ischemia are less likely.

IMPRESSION:

1. I document a solitary fundal intrauterine extra endometrial
likely chorionic sac with an apparent yolk sac. Sonographic
morphology is normal for early gestation, by standard criteria.
My identification of likely intra uterine chorionic sac makes
coexistent ectopic gestation less likely.
2. Sonographic size 6.1 weeks, expect about five week size
(according to the patient's estimate of ovulatory dating),
menstrual dating 7.1 weeks; reflecting relatively good agreement.
Our findings are discrepant with maternal serum beta-hCG values,
this is a troublesome finding for pregnancy continuation.
Additionally my inability to define embryo or cardiac activity
with a six-week sized gestational sac is of concern for pregnancy
failure. Please correlate with serial maternal serum quantitative
Beta-hCG values and, if indicated, consider followup imaging,
best if no sooner than ten days to two weeks from now.
3. 1.6 cm right adnexal apparent corpus luteum cyst of
pregnancy.
4. Please see above for additional details and discussion of
today's evaluation.

 

Long, I know but informative nonetheless. I’m hoping that I will get another ultrasound in another week or two and we finally get to see the baby on the screen and hear the heartbeat. Nothing would make me happier! Until then, it’s back to worry…

New Betas

So I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning so I could get my results as soon as I could cuz I’m beyond impatient like that. I just called the lab and found out that my hCG level rose to 4147 today! That means that I’m doubling about every day and a half which is great news. I have never had hCG levels this high before so I’m now completely convinced that this baby is here to stay!

I am now waiting on the Dr’s office to call me back and hopefully get an ultrasound scheduled for sometime this week. I would think that with numbers this high already I should be able to hear a heartbeat!! I have a feeling that I will cry when I hear it. I can’t wait.

Also, yesterday my boobs were seriously hurting me. I got really excited. Haha. Then this morning I started feeling sick to my stomach and I was so so happy! I have never been so excited to be miserable. :D

New Levels

I went in early this morning to get my hormone levels checked again. Either the nurse screwed up and ordered a repeat of all tests or the phlebotomist screwed up and grabbed the paperwork from last time instead of today’s but I ended up getting my hCG and progesterone levels again as well as my blood type. I am now very definitely A positive. J Anywho, my hCG levels went up to 256 which means that it more than doubled in under 48 hours. This is very good because it should be doubling every 48-72 hours in the first few weeks of pregnancy. My exact doubling time is 42.54 hours. The worrisome part is that my progesterone levels are still quite low at 7.2 now. Progesterone is needed to sustain a pregnancy and usually a level above 10 is necessary.

Needless to say I am worried but apparently my Dr’s office isn’t nearly as worried as I am. They called to tell me that everything looked good and they will recheck again in a week. Really? A week? If I keep doubling every 2 days then I would be expected to exceed 2000 by Tuesday and they said that I just need a level over 1500 to get an ultrasound. I guess they say they can’t see anything until my levels are that high. I’m thinking that I may ask if I can get my blood drawn again on Monday too.

I also asked about taking progesterone supplements because my levels were so low. The nurse said that she would talk to the Dr and see if that’s something that she would recommend and give me a call back. I’m not sure what she will say but I’m hoping that she just determines that it can’t hurt and could help if this is a viable pregnancy and just prescribes them. I guess we’ll see…

Beyond Anxious

So I went in for my first beta yesterday and my hCG levels were where I would expect them at 125, but my progesterone level was only 7.9. It should be over 10 at minimum and really above 15 to be “safe” so to speak. I am extremely worried as one would expect but I am really trying to keep positive about it all.

Last time around the low progesterone level was an indicator that the pregnancy might be ectopic or that I may be miscarrying. It was only at 3.4 then so way too low to think that it might be a healthy pregnancy. This time, the higher number (plus the fact that I haven’t bled at all) gives me hope. Now, I am still running to the bathroom every few hours just to make sure that I’m not bleeding but still, I am trying to be as hopeful as possible.

I go in for another beta tomorrow. They said that I can go anytime I want so since I’m not sleeping well anyways, I think that I will go in at 7 am so that I can get results around 9 am when my doctor gets in. I know that this won’t give me all the answers that I want, but I think that it will give me hope if my hCG levels are doubling normally. That plus maybe I will be able to convince my Dr. that I need an ultrasound right away to rule out another ectopic pregnancy and get some answers!!

My Belly

Okay, so this may be a little soon but I just have a feeling that this one is different so I'm going to assume the best. As unflattering as it is I decided to take pictures of my tummy to see how my baby bump progresses. By my count from when I think I ovulated, I am 3 weeks, 4 days pregnant and feeling really bloated. I think it shows in my tummy too... Here's hoping the flab looks more like a bump soon!

BFinally freakin P!

I took a cheapie yesterday and thought it was negative. I went to work and continued on with my day and when I got home, for whatever reason, I looked at it again and saw what I thought could either be a light line or an evap line. I wasn't quite sure which though. I decided to take a FRER this morning and sure enough, another light line! I am super excited but still a little guarded. I'm going to take a digi tomorrow and I'm crossing my fingers it gives me the word I wanna see!!

Somebody May Need to Talk Me Down...

So I am now just about convinced that I am pregnant this month. Last month I had a 41 day cycle and I thought that it was really weird and was thinking that my period was way late. Well, when AF cam I figured that I either had something really screwy going on or I ovulated really late in my cycle.

Fast forward to this month. I get a + OPK on CD16 which is the day before I leave for Hawaii. I figured I O'd while there and hopefully the BDing before I left was good enough. Well, CD27 rolls around and I notice lots of CM and I check it and my cervix is so high I can't feel it and I have EWCM! I figured it was weird and went about my day. Then the next day I am so beyond horny. I figured too many O symptoms were adding up so I took an OPK and sure enough, positive! Of course I got in some BDing so things are looking good.

Well, now I am having the same symptoms that I had with the last pregnancy... my nips are seriously sore and hard all the time. That was the only really noticable early symptom so we shall see what comes.

Is It Really Almost July?!

I can't believe that it's almost July already! This whole year has seemed to pass by me so quickly. I was thinking to myself a few months ago that the time will just pass me by if I live in 2 week incriments, wating to O and then waiting to test. But this month I have not focused on my cycle at all and it's seemed to have gone by the quickest!

The positive side of that is that I am already 6 days past ovulation and I didn't do any counting or waiting or anything and I acutally felt very relaxed about the whole thing. I guess we will see if that equates to anything in another week and a half.

I am already feeling a bit sad by the fact that it's been 8 months since I became pregnant initially and I'm still not pregnant again. If I am not pregnant this month then my due date will arrive before I would know for the next cycle. I'm not sure if I'm prepared to handle that but I guess there's no way around it... unless of course I have an exceptionally amazing 4th of July! Here's hoping...

Oh AF... why do you toy with me?

So I am officiallly one day late according to my longest cycle and still getting BFNs. I am on cycle day 36 and 16 days past ovulation. If I go by the longest of everything and throw my charting out for the month, the latest day that I have ovulated is CD23 and the longest luteal phase that I have had is 18 days. So adding those two together, a worst case scenario cycle for me would be 41 days long. That means that I'll give it until at least Monday before I start really freaking out that AF is a no show. Can I just tell you how much I hate being a girl right about now?

Blasted UTI's Again

So I have been feeling like I might have a UTI for a few days now and I just thought if I drank enough water I could make it go away on my own. Oh how wrong was I. I woke up in the middle of the night and had to pee so bad I was wide awake. Then after I went I felt so much worse and could not go back to sleep to save my life. I tossed and turned for a while until I finally got up at 7 and took a shower.

I decided to go to the instacare clinic to get an antibiotic thinking I could just get into work 45 min late or so and they took 2 hours! I told them that I am TTC so I needed an antibiotic that was safe in case I am pg and the dr asked if I wanted to do a pregnancy test. I said sure but I was pretty sure that it was too early to show up in a urine test. It came back negative as I was suspecting but just the sound of the dr telling me that I'm not pregnant was somehow discouraging.

I definitely don't feel like I'm pregnant at the moment and now that I'm going to have to be on antibiotics for a week I'm thinking that my chances are getting slimmer. I'm somehow feeling okay with it all now. The last few cycles it's seemed devestating when AF came. Now, I don't know if I'm just used to the disappointment or what, but I'm getting to be okay with the whole process and I know it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen this month.

I've been reallly proud of myself for not stressing about it all too. I haven't been on the internet chatting with all the other TTC girls or charting every day. I took my temperature for a couple of days around O just to see how things were going but then quit and haven't done it since. I have no idea if this is the method that will finally get me pregnant again but I have to say, it's a lot easier to deal with at the moment.

Can't Turn Off My Brain

So I have come to realize that I cannot turn off my brain. I can't just stop thinking about babies or my cycle or the fact that I would have been starting my third trimester today had I not lost the baby or the fact that there is no way possible for me to have a baby this year. I am having a hard time thinking that there is a possibility that I still won't be pregnant by the time my due date rolls around and boy can I tell you know that that is an emptional breakdown waiting to happen... especially since my cycle should be coming to an end just days before the EDD.

I've been doing everything that I can to keep myself distracted. I've been spending a lot of time gardening and working outside and when i'm not doing that, I've been doing a lot of couponing. I've also taken a break from the charting and will only occasionally enter something in my chart online. I haven't even been on the What to Expect boards at all this week.

The problem is that when I exercise or am lying in bed trying to fall asleep, my brain just goes straight to babies. I can't help it. It's like my biological clock has alarmed and no matter what I do I can't hit the snooze button now. I was thinking that maybe if I just ignore it all then it will happen on its own, but then I remember that I've had so many health issues in the past that it probably would just delay further if I did that. I guess I have 4 more cycles until I can say that there is a real medical issue going on but I swear if I'm not pregnant by August I may just go crazy. Not to mention the fact that Jon told me that he's feeling the pressure. He's better now that we talked and he's realized that it's not his fault if we don't succeed but I'm sure that he's anxious for this conception stuff to end too.

I dunno... like I said, I'm thinking too much and I just don't know how to turn it off. There's only so much I can do to distract myself. Here's hoping that I get a little Mother's Day miracle (I should ovulate on or around that day!) and I can stop thinking about all this conception stuff and start thinking about all the other fun stuff that comes with having a baby!

Sad

So it looks like I just started AF. I am still a little worried that since I am a little early for AF, there may be another ectopic like before, but I just think that I have crazy unpredictable cycles. So frustrated but I guess we just pick up the pieces and try again next month.

Is it all in my head?

I have been having some symptoms but I'm not sure if they are actually pregnancy symptoms or if they are just from the progeserone. The most notable symptom is that my nips are tender and tingly off and on all day. The frequently look like they're popping out too. This is waay exciting for me because that's the biggest thing that I noticed when I was pregnant before. I have also been more tired than usual but not by much. I have been feeling like I'm really thirsty and subsequently habing to pee a lot too but that could be anything. So is it all in my head? Probably, but that's okay with me right now. I need some hope to hold on to until I get that second line!

CONGRATULATIONS BROOKIE!!

I got a text this morning and it just totally made my day. My BFF Brooke is prego! :D YAY!!! I will admit that I had a slight twinge of jealousy, but honestly, who wouldn't? But I am so so beyond excited for her... probably almost as much as I would be if I had been the one with the BFP!

Now I just have to tell my body to get it going because we're totally destined to be two weeks apart throughout our pregnancies. :) Our kids are going to be born about the same time and will be able to play together and have parties together and be just as good of friends as we are!

Ah, I'm still so excited I just can't contain myself right now. Congrats Brooke!!!

Perpetually Waiting

So I was getting really worried about my cycle. It seemed like it was taking longer and longer to ovulate. I was getting so so frustrated and started playing around in Fertility Friend. I decided to analyze just my cycles since the ectopic and what do you know, my cycles have totally changed! I was averaging around 30 day cycles before the pregnancy but I'm now having 34-35 day cycles. Crazy, right? So if I go by that math instead, I would expect to ovulate on Wednesday. That's a little more comforting to know that I'm not screwed up but still a bit annoying that it makes the waiting all that much longer.

Of course today, the one day that I REALLY need to use one, I completely forgot to bring my OPK to work with me. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal because I could just take one when I get home, but again, Murphy's Law, we're going to the airport after work today because Jon's cousin is coming back from his mission. ARGH! I think that I might just break down and run to the store at lunchtime and buy one. I am just so ready to get this show on the road!

Yet Another Psychic Prediction

Yes, I know, I am an addict. I think they are fun though and I like people to reaffirm what I already believe. lol So here's the latest prediction:

Hi Katie,

Thanks for your order. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage...I just went through one myself late last week so know exactly what you must have gone through. It is such a horrible experience :(

As you will have gather if you read the description of this reading in ebay, these types of readings are best approached in the spirit of entertainment because it isn't possible to guarantee an accurate result every single time. Please bear this in mind when leaving feedback because as much as any tarot reader would love to be an "all seeing eye" that kind of 100% accuracy rate just isn't possible ! However, 9 times out of 10 the results ARE on the mark so it's a pretty reliable system on the whole.

Here is what is showing for you then:

Firstly yes I do see another pregnancy around you and the springtime is in focus with the month coming through the strongest for conception as MAY so it seems not to be very far off.

The Fool- This card shows a male figure so the first sign is that you will have a boy.

THE 2 of Wands- This card also shows a male figure . This is confirming the other card's prediction

Next, I asked my pendulum several questions to make sure the results were accurate and the answer does agree with the card's predictions so it looks like you will be having a boy.

I hope that the prediction turns out to have been correct , providing it is the gender you are hoping for of course. Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy and much joy when baby comes along :)

Take good care,
Victoria
xx

Let's Get it Started!

So today is cycle day 1 and I am actually pretty excited about it. If you plug in today's date into a due date calculator as the last menstrual period, it will tell you that the EDD is Christmas Eve! That matches up with the JennyRenny prediction that I received perfectly!

I have decided that this is my month and I am going to own it. I am going to take my prenatal religiously - I even set a reminder on my phone. I am going to eat healthy foods and exercise regularly. (with the exception of this week because I'm pretty sick and having a hard time just staying awake) And I am going to drink my 3 liters of water each day.

I am also really happy because I just weighed myself on my Wii Fit. I was fully expecting to see the scale jump up from last time because I lost about 5 lbs in a week and didn't think that I had done enough to maintain it. To my delight, it said that not only had I maintained it, I lost another 2 and a half pounds. That brings my total weight loss up to about 40 lbs! PLUS if I lose just 2 more pounds, my BMI will be under 25 which means that I will be considered "normal" instead of "overweight" which I couldn't be happier about! I'm certainly not feeling the lbs drop off in the clothes department, but I'm also bloated regularly now that I'm off birth control pills.

So I'm just really excited about this month and I just know that things will all work out for me!

Is it April Yet?

Here I am, 8DPO today and not feeling at all like I am prego. I don't think that this was a successful month at all. I O'd a week later than normal and we didn't BD nearly enough this cycle. I didn't take my prenatals like I should have and ate lots of fatty foods and didn't really exercise. I even had in-office surgery on my toe and had to take antibiotics for a week. I'm just not feeling it at all. I'm not even sure that I want to take a test at all this month or just wait on AF to show. I know that I shouldn't feel so pessimistic about all of this but I just want to get this cycle over with so that I can do everything right next cycle and get myself knocked up. Hopefully I have just a few more days to wait and then we can get this show on the road!

The Waiting Game... Again

I am so annoyed with this perpetual waiting game. I am now in the wait to O and it seems like it is taking FOREVER! I have been using my OPKs every day for the past three days and they are all giving me light lines but nothing dark enough to call it positive yet. I was hoping to start the BD marathon and go every day until O, but Jon is getting sick and wasn't up to it last night. Ger... You can't very well make a baby if you aren't doing it! lol I know I sound horrible right now... I'm mad at my hubby for being sick and not putting out. It sounds even worse putting it in writing. Hopefully he will start feeling better today and we can start the marathon tonight. I'm expecting to O in another 2-3 days and that's how long his little swimmers will survive so we need to get to it! I have really high hopes that things will work out this cycle and I just KNOW that if it's not this cycle it'll be the next one. I just have to make it happen! I feel like He-Man... "I HAVE THE POWER!"

Re-analyzing My Predictions

I decided to take another look at my previous psychic predictions since they were right about my last pregnancy. They both say March which means that I could either conceive this cycle or next cycle for it to be right. One says from the cycle that begins in March, so next cycle, but here's the crazy part - she says the EDD will be Christmas Eve and if I have a long LP of like 16 days for this cycle and then O on CD17 (I'm normally 16-17) of the next one, my EDD according to FF will be Christmas Eve! How crazy is that?! I still hope that one's wrong and I can get it on the first try again though! If that doesn't work though I'm more than happy to have a little Christmas miracle! :D

Back At It!

So this morning, at 6:15, AF decides to wake me from my peaceful slumber to announce that she has finally decided to grace me with her presence! I am sooo beyond pissed at her right now... she is 6 days late, made me get up early on a Friday and will be here through Valentine's day. Talk about ruining a romantic weekend...

Oh well, at least she showed up on her own and I didn't have to do anything crazy or call the doc. Now I can officially say, I AM TTC AGAIN!!!!! YAY!!!!!!

Murphey's Law Strikes Again

Why is it that when you want AF to stay far far away, she shows up ahead of schedule and when you want her to show up early, she decides to be fashionably late? I have been thinking for the past three days that I'm going to start any minute and a few times I've even gone to check and still nothing. I know that having a nice long luteal phase is a good thing. It means that your body is producing enough progesterone to be able to sustain a pregnancy and keep the baby healthy until the placenta can produce hormones on its own. Anything 12 days and above is considered good so that's what I was hoping for. Here I am on day 14 and I just don't care anymore... I want AF so I can start my planning and try again!!

On a positive note, I had the most amazing weekend with Jon! We didn't really do much, but we had the most amazing reawakening I guess you'd say. We stayed up talking until almost 2 in the morning and really did some reconnecting. It was so so great. Plus, we have been on the lean side with our BDing lately. somewhat because of the m/c and all the aftermath and somewhat because we both hated using the condoms, but after our reconnection emotionally we did some rather fantastic baby dancing! And the next day, and the next. lol I don't think that we've had this much open communication in a long time. It wasn't just the talking about what's on our minds thing cuz we are really good about doing that every day, it was talking about our deep emotions and things that we purposefully don't tell each other because we either don't think they'd understand or because we haven't felt comfortable expressing it. It was really eye opening. I learned that Jon is just about as anxious to get prego as I am, he just doesn't talk about it as much. I also learned that he's a little scared to be around babies cuz he has never really been around them before.

Anywho, I'm rambling now but I just thought I'd share my weekend stories. :D

Pic of My Future Child

So I went to this website: http://www.makemebabies.com and uploaded pics of both Jon and I and it is supposed to make a composite of what our future baby will look like. It's pretty cute and totally possible. ;)