Round 2

So this is now take 2 for trying to get baby #2. I waited a while even to post here just because I am so much more guarded about the whole process. I didn’t want to admit to anyone, especially myself, that it was real until I get past the first trimester and feel more “safe” about the whole situation.

I got a super faint line on a test on May 7^th and didn’t really know for sure if it was really there. I retested the next morning and got another faint line so I used a blue-dye test and got a noticeable line and then used a digital test and it popped up “Pregnant.” I told Jon but resolved that I wasn’t going to tell anyone else for a long time this time. I wasn’t even going to call the doctor’s office right away but then realized that I needed to get into the schedule and also get a prescription for progesterone.

The nurse offered to schedule me for the usual gamut of blood tests and early ultrasounds. I decided to decline and just go with a 7 week ultrasound. That would be late enough that I know I should see a fully formed fetus and a heartbeat and if I don’t see it at that time, then something is definitely wrong. It’s also early enough that if there is another problem like another ectopic pregnancy (though that’s unlikely at this point) then actions can be taken before something bad happens. Plus it’s only about 2.5 weeks before my first doctor’s appointment so I won’t have too long to wait through the “danger” zone where the last one stopped growing.

I was fine with not getting all the hCG and progesterone numbers throughout the early weeks because they don’t really tell much and I would just stress over them anyway. That was until yesterday. I got a horrible migraine and knowing that my migraines are caused by hormone fluctuations, I was worried that my progesterone levels were too low. I called the nurse and went in for a blood draw. To my pleasant surprise, my progesterone level was 20.8! That is the highest that it has ever been in early pregnancy!! I was ecstatic about that. They also measured my hCG and it was over 16,000 which is on the high end for being just over 6 weeks. I was a little worried that it was more consistent with twins but then resolved that my dates were probably just off by a few days and that would make up all the difference.

So now it’s just a waiting game. The worst part of it all is going through the whole first trimester all over again. The nausea, the heartburn, the cramping, the weird appetite, the extreme tiredness and everything else that goes along with being pregnant. I suppose that I wouldn’t be so annoyed at having to do all of that again if I were sure that I would get to continue the pregnancy this time. I would gladly take on all the bad things in pregnancy if the outcome could be guaranteed. That’s never going to be possible and though I know that getting to the magical 14 week point means the chances of miscarriage go way down, it’s still not a guarantee. I’ll take what I can get though and I have a feeling that by the time we reach the second ultrasound, I’ll be able to let myself get a little more excited about the pregnancy.

I’m still not going to tell anyone until I get to the second trimester – maybe even until I know what we’re having. I really hated the un-telling last time and I’m going to do whatever I can to avoid that this time. This is all pursuant to me being able to hide my already swelling abdomen but at least I can just tell people that I’m getting fat.